Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Homeless Man

I
exit my house, close the doors and
walk around the block
I glance across the street and see
the homeless man, sitting there, with his bottle of beer
He is positioned there, not sitting straight, simply
slouching in front of the concrete walls
slouching motionless like a discarded ragdoll,
uncared for by anyone
He
slowly moves and
without letting go of his bottle slowly
adjusts his position into a what seems
to be in between lying down and sitting
His face is expressionless,
so it seems but deep inside there hides a
grief and sorrow incomprehensible to
the oblivious passersby
who
all have the comfort of a space,
a sofa, bed, room, and family How can
they feel the pain of lacking
such things,
such things that bring a happiness and
define a person, when they are so
used to having what we call a home
The homeless man sits there, undefined
I
return from the local grocery,
unlock the keys to my house and enter
my house, my home, my identity, my definition
I glance through the window and see
the homeless man, sitting there, with his bottle of beer
lying against the concrete walls
lying like a fallen statue
The homeless man lies there, undefined.

This is a free-verse poem that I wrote. The main focus of this poem is a typical homeless man who sleeps outside by old buildings. The poem discusses the pain of homelessness and the indifference of general public who all have homes and thus are unable to feel the pain of lacking a home. I used a bit of imagery while describing the homeless man (eg. his slouching position against the wall, holding a bottle of beer, stanza 1). I used a simile (like a ragdoll, in line 8, stanza 1), comparing the homeless man to a discarded doll that has lost its "home", and near the end of the poem, another one that compares him to a fallen statue that people have neglected to lift back up. The imagery and similes help in making the poem more descriptive. The general tone of this poem is solemn and dark.

7 comments:

  1. To me, the most lasting part of the poem was the last bit "lies there, undefined." The use of the word undefined is really good. It makes me think about the anonymity of homeless people, how people do their best to not pay them any attention as if they were a nondescript mailbox on the side of the street. I think that giving the "I's" and the "He" on a separate line helped with the flow and meaning of the poem. It contrasts the difference between the writer and the homeless man which is what I believe to be the point of the poem. Perhaps reword the "not sitting straight" as it is a little bit awkward.

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  2. I really liked this poem and I think that you did an amazing job in portraying homelessness. I really like the way that you said I and then left the rest of the line blank, it was a really interesting way to write a poem and it really impacted the way it was read. I think you did a wonderful job and I really enjoyed reading this poem. Great work!

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  3. Du-de, nice poem! Your use of random repetition of words actually solidified what you were trying to say, which was good. There's plenty of good description that doesn't bore the reader. I'm confused, however, by the significance of the one-word "beginnings" of your stanzas (I, he, who, I), but I'm inexperienced when it comes to poetry so...

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  4. What was an amazing poem alex!!
    I really love the way you use the words "I, He, Who" to begin a new perspective throughout the poem, it was really effective in switching from one idea to the next.
    good job!
    and nice topic, i must say aha

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  5. Wow Alex! Great poem. i was going to say how perfectly is went with your theme, but then i discovered that you'd written it...i really liked how you used the 'i' and 'he'; it worked to contrast the homeless man with the speaker really well. You also used the perfect amount of imagery and didn't go overboard at all. Good job!

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  6. Great poem! I especially like how you isolated the different people in the single-word-lines. The overall feeling and atmosphere that this poem created was deep and I felt you were able to remove the outer layer of the situation. I like how you ended the poem.

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  7. This is an amazing piece of work, Alex! I agree with Rachel in that the last line. It made me look up from the poem and really think, really imagine what it would be like to be homeless. You really would be undefined. And that's the sign of a great poem if I've ever seen one.

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